Phase the Twenty-First: Still working on it.
Things I Don’t Know
Spanish. How to surf. The square root of Pi. How to change a tire. Why we’re supposed to recycle plastic water bottles. Why my Brita won’t work. The name of my great-great-great-great grandmother. How to plant a garden. Why my laptop battery has died twice in one year. Why some people are allergic to things. How I am thinking of these things that I don’t know. Why we’re supposed to eat chocolate in moderation. What my father’s job is. Why we see heat waves rise from the pavement. Why so many models aren’t actually pretty. How to fly a plane. How to not be scared on planes. How to draw a perfectly straight line, even with a ruler. Why I once ate a cupcake out of the garbage when I was seven. How to be a doctor. What makes some music “bad.” How to crack an egg cleanly. Why Bush was re-elected. Who built my house. When cigarettes were invented. Why people have to get drunk. How to not be bored. When the ice-caps will melt. Why I eat an entire pack of Orbit gum every day. Why that bothers me so much. How to sew a button. Why I love the color yellow. What Blackle is. How to fix any broken household appliance. Why anyone wouldn’t have the measles vaccination. What I want to be when I grow up. Why I’m writing this. Why so many people like tea but I can’t taste it. How to be serious. How my brain works. Why I don’t have a boyfriend. How the economy collapsed. How a city like New York exists. Why everyone looks different. Why I have 20/20 vision. Why my mother thinks I won’t look good with a nose pierce. Why I want a nose pierce. Why there are different languages. Who first thought to make a daisy-chain and wear it like a crown. Where Russell Crow is right now. Where anyone is right now, except the people in this room. Why I laugh so loud. Why boys look so weird right after they get their hair cut. How to walk normally in heels that are more than 4 inches high. Why I pretend to like dogs when I really don’t. How to climb a rock wall. If anyone will read this list. How fax machines work. If I will have children. How to play an instrument. Where my parents went on their first date. If old people have sex. What it’s like to be arrested. How to live without a cell-phone. Why we shake hands when we meet people. Why some words are names and others can’t be. How to do a back hand-spring. Why I kiss boys I don’t even like. How to not be jealous. If I should allow myself to go back and edit this list or if it should be totally spur-of-the-moment. If anything is really spur-of-the-moment. Why we have time if it’s not real. What real means. Why people can’t just eat when they’re hungry and not eat when they’re not hungry. How to French braid my hair. If really religious people truly believe in God more than everyone else. Why there are so many more theories than theses. Anything that has yet to happen.
